Dear Kimmie, I can call you Kimmie right?

I mean you look like a Kimmie much more than a Kim or a Kimberly or my least favorite which is a misleading way of saying my most hated ever because it is stupid and butchy, Berly. I mean if you are going to call yourself Berly you might as well say - just because I am a lady and I am alive doesn't mean I need to be associated with an ounce of femininity. Fuck it, you might as well call me by my last name, which sounds like a butch cacophony thank you very much. As a lady who is alive and who wasted her years of potential and youth trying to deny herself said femininity I can safely say it is a garish mistake. A mistake which does not allow enough time in eternity to overcome. So I guess I beg you my little Kimmie - please don't call yourself Berly, or Zolzkciasdkjhsgh or whatever the fuck your crazy last name is.

Anyway, here is my question for you. Why is it that when I am smoking, all I want to do on this earth is to NOT smoke, however, when I am NOT smoking I would kill you just to smoke for a moment, however, it might be true to say that I would kill you for a nickel or I would kill you just to see if you deflate but that isn't the point here. Stop whining about yourself and Quincy and give me a goddamn answer.

LYLAS,
I am a Lady and I am alive.

Some pros and cons on the quitting of the smoking for you Kimmie

Pros of not smoking
1) Not smelling like smoke
2) Not having to listen to certain people say - your car smells like my Grandma's car
3) Looking at people who are smoking with my eyes of judgment as if to say - yeah - you are weak and cannot control your destiny.
4) Not having to change the channel on my t.v. ever goddamn time by that Dr. Whatserface on the Today show blahdy blahs about the fucking consequences of smoking.
5) Not looking like this picture

Cons of not smoking
1) Not smoking
2) Having to be all straight edge and shit about it
3) Not getting to smoke
4) Dealing with the fucking traffic and not having an outlet to vent my frustrations therefore requiring me to tone down the road-rage which is a huge pain in the anus.
5) A Rusty Nail and a cigarette after a long day of living.