So the good news Kimmer is that I am totally off the juice, the nicotine juice that is - which is super good right? unfortunately I am about two seconds away from overdosing on vitamins and probiotics and maybe dayquil. Now, you know I love me some Nyquil and the second that I feel a cough / cold / headache / foot-ache / injury / period coming I am all up in it because 1) it is delicious and 2) it is the only night-time, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching stuffy head, fever SO YOU CAN REST meds that has truly been able to keep me resting, especially because my plucky 3 year old dachshund whose name I won't mention (Mallory Justine Keaton) has a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night and lick my toes which is super gross and makes me so mad. Thanks to my lover nyquil, I wake up bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and pruney-toed, but I don't care because it is awesome. Anyway, what was I talking about - oh yeah, Nyquil/Dayquil. I never knew how glorious the touch of Dayquil, aside from feeling like my desk chair is a roller-coaster - which I hate by the way - roller-coasters - they are to me the inanimate object version of Steven Spielberg, trying to tell me how to feel - thank you no, I don't need your help to feel through this moment of my life and I think that a baby could write a better script than stupid Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of fucking the eye socket in your Crystal Skull or whatever - anyway - I keep losing my train of thought, thank you very much Dayquil. Where was I, oh yes. So I think that some sicko who works in my 1970s deppresso building is like those people in the 80s who had AIDS and were like - fuck it - if I am going to die than so will you, so they fucked everyone they could - spreading AIDS at every opportunity. If you don't know what I am talking about - look it up or watch an episode of Law and Order SVU, I guarantee every other episode uses that plot-line. Anyway, I think someone here is walking around with the sickness and spitting/snotting on everything he/she (probably a she because the women out number the creepy old men 10 to 1 and most of them smoke at least a pack a day - how do I know BECAUSE THEY DO IT OUTSIDE OF MY GODDAMN WINDOW!!!) touche so I have decided to get all (person must remain nameless but Lisa and Scot know who I am talking about) on their asses and say fuck it germs, not only do I double wrap but I am not going to touch a single doorknob / faucet / whatever I have to touch without a paper-towel in hand. And let me tell you I love it. People think I am a freak but I can stare at them and say - maybe you are the diseasist who is trying to kill me so I don't care what your judgment eyes say. By the way, could you please stop spending 7.5 of the 8 hours you are working standing outside of my office window smoking - the air seems to come right through the vent and I think I am getting more smoke inhalation from you bitches than I did the entire time I smoked. By the way I bet your house stinks and I hate you. THE END!
